Peaches and Pumpkin

Enjoying the sweet and sour in life.

Living the American Dream December 21, 2011

Filed under: Staying Home with the Kids — Peaches and Pumpkins @ 4:22 pm
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  1. Name: Ashley
  2. Hometown: Alpharetta, GA
  3. Birthday: January 1
  4. Occupation: Stay at home mom

Occupation. Stay at home mom. Why can’t I write.. Occupation: everything under the sun to make sure everyone is happy? Just uttering the words “stay at home mom” can bring a variety of thoughts into people’s heads. What most don’t realize though, is that it is one of the hardest jobs there is. I am solely responsible for how my kids are brought up: what they believe in, see, hear, understand, and how they behave. It is a lot of pressure. Why are women constantly being belittled because of it?

Many years ago, most considered “The American Dream” to be an ideal living situation. Most men worked during the day, providing for their family, and the wives stayed home and tended to the children. For many different reasons, this is no longer the case. A financially straining society forces both parents to work, and place children in daycare. Dads stay at home, while the mothers work. And in other situations, both parents prefer to work just for that extra income. I realize there are many other situations in which families run. Whatever the case may be, every family runs a little bit differently, and couldn’t be without the help of everyone.

A big problem I’ve been facing recently is why men think that women who stay at home do not contribute to the household. This past weekend, Brandon and I went car shopping. We were sure that it would be his credit that affected the outcome of our purchase, or even the condition of the truck we were trading in. The actual problem was me. The financer told me that while I was doing the stay at home mom ‘thing’ and didn’t have a job..I was non-existent in the credit world, therefore I couldn’t be on the loan, and denied us a car. According to this man, I needed to have an income to contribute in my family. I found myself really down the rest of the day. Was changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, keeping up with bills, running errands and keeping everyone happy not enough? No it wasn’t. I needed to be out in the real world, instead of sitting at home playing with my kids, as he clearly thought I did.

At the end of the day, I had to brush it off. I looked around at a clean house, happy kids, and a good meal on the table, and knew that I worked hard that day.  My job is to make sure the main provider of the house, has everything he needs taken care of, and that Paige and Colt are completely cared for. Not only that, but I am saving my family hundreds of dollars per week by simply staying and caring for them myself, rather than paying someone else to.

I remind myself daily of how blessed I am, and don’t need anyone else to make me think differently.


13 Responses to “Living the American Dream”

  1. Kristen Says:

    Here, here girl!! Men have NO idea what it is like (nor do some women for that matter!) unless they’ve done it themselves. Funny how the hardest job there is gets brushed aside as playtime. ! At least we all know better. 😉 Your babies will thank you for a job well done just by being wonderful, well rounded, smart, loving people!

  2. misskeith017 Says:

    You are very blessed! I believe those who see what you’re doing isn’t contributing anything must be jealous in some way because of the financial strain on society today. You have been gifted one of the best gifts a woman and mother can have, one that other women wish they could do. I’m a single mother still in school to get my grade twelve and I only dream of someday being a stay at home mother and homemaker. I wish you all the best!

    • Thank you for the kind words, and the support. Your amazing what you are doing. I know its hard having two kids at home, but I can’t imagine being single in school. Children are such a precious gift, and if you need someone to talk to, I’m here! Good luck with school!

  3. Lyn Bergen Says:

    Welcome to my world, Ashley. Most good jobs aren’t flexible enough for mothers with children. On top of that, when you do earn a paycheck, ( at least $25 to $30 an hour), a third of your money goes to taxes, a third to childcare and you’re left with the last third. The example I often use is you earn three apples and you get to take home one. It’s tough, but being a mom is so much fun.

  4. Ouch! I am so sorry you experienced that kind of attitude.

    When I feel myself getting in a funk about this issue I try to remind myself that we are raising the next generation who will form this society. We have a great deal of power to influence them and teach them the value of caring for children.

    As adults, whether they participate full time in caring for their families at home, or work outside as the financial providers, they will naturally value all ways of contributing to our society’s most important assests, children.

    Btw, it also helps surrounding ourselves with peers who understand and value what we do, whether in person or through the blogosphere, which is why I am pleased to have found your blog. Keep posting, it’s a great way to give and receive support from others who share your experience.

    • Thanks for the kind words, and for taking the time to read! I like your suggestiong about surrounding myself with people who appreciate what we do. Blogging has definitely helped me connect with other moms out there, and food lovers!

  5. Very well said! Your kiddos are beautiful and ive enjoyed reading your posts!

    Ps. I am also from Alpharetta 🙂

  6. Love this! There’s nothing better than being a stay at home mom!

  7. Being a stay at home mom is a very important job but all your hard work is often taken for granted. One of my first jobs was selling life insurance and when I would sit down with couples where the mom was a stay at home mom they were always thrilled to find out that the value of their work was assigned a dollar amount that was in the triple digits! The truth of the matter was that if something were to happen to them and their spouse had to hire someone to cook, clean, take care of the kids, etc, etc, etc. it WOULD cost a fortune!
    Don’t let that car salesman or anyone else discourage you or de-value the important job you are doing 🙂

  8. pamiejane Says:

    I work full time – and totally commend all stay-at-home Mom’s. It is tough – going out to work is much easier. I come home from work and my daughter has had dinner, my house is clean and I just get to spend a couple of house playing with her before she goes to bed.

    Saying that though, I am also quite a bit jealous. I love spending time with her and miss her terribly when I am at work. I believe that all mothers should have commended for the choice they have made and the contribution they add no matter whether they work at home or out of it.

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